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The local Malay community has a tradition of holding their wedding banquets under HDB void decks. Guests will have an enjoyable experience as they will be pampered with sumptuous food but it is a rush hour for the working staffs.
I have personally gone to numerous such banquets, both as a guest and as a working member of staff. During my cousin's wedding, my friends and I volunteered to assist in kitchen operations. As we were still young and energetic, we were specifically assigned to wash the dishes which was a laborious job. Space was a constraint since we had to share our working area with the cooks, mainly comprising of the older generations. Unfortunately, we had disputes over the arrangement of items in the kitchen area. It was aggravated when the cooks ordered us to help them wash the ingredients. As busy as we were with the dishes, we still had to comply with their demands. The waitresses also added to our burden as they did not follow instructions to place the used cutleries at the designated spot. As a result, we became inefficient in our task. As lethargy sets in, we began to vent our frustrations on one another.
Shouldn't the cooks and waitresses be more considerate towards us? I feel that if all of us were focussed in our roles, none of those disputes would have occured. However, if this situation is inevitable, how then can we keep our emotions in check despite all odds?
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Instead of “ordering” you and your friends to help wash the ingredients, it would be nicer if the cooks “asked for some help”. This is because in many situations, the tone of one’s voice and attitude makes a lot of difference. They could also have given you and your friends the option to wash the ingredients when you and your friends are less busy with the dishes.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, in such a situation, its best to forgive, forget and give each other the benefit of doubt. The cooks are probably under pressure to complete the dishes and are unaware of their attitudes towards you and your friends. It could also help by remembering that it’s a wedding and it’s suppose to be a happy occasion, being frustrated and angry with each other will spoil the atmosphere.
I agree with Joyce that the catering staff's main aim should have been to ensure that the newly married couple had a special day. catering for large numbers of people is notoriously stressful as you have to work fast and often things don't run to plan. Therefore, the person in charge should have fostered an 'esprit de corps' and appealed to each staff member to work to full capacity but also be ready to 'muck in' if necessary.
ReplyDeleteMrs Richardson
Hi Rauf , I also agree with Joyce. I believe that it is quite rush for a cook to prepare so many dishes. I think that he may have used a harsher tone when speaking to you.In addition to that , he may have used some non verbal actions during communication and this has make you uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest that you calm down at that moment. No matter how unwilling you are , I believe that you do not want to spoil the wedding.
Since your group, the chefs and the waitresses are working to make the wedding a success, I feel it is important that everyone sees themselves as part of the same team. Like what Joyce, Mrs. Richardson and Pin Xuan said, the cooks are in a stressful situation – it is not easy to cook for so many people, let alone in a cramp place. . People do not usually speak in a nice tone when they are stressed. Not everyone is conscious of their behaviour at times. I think we can forgive them for this. In addition, since they are the seniors, perhaps you can accommodate them? It is only for a day and you are doing this for the greater good.
ReplyDeleteAs for the waitresses, I suppose a possible solution would be to appoint a leader among them to ensure that the proper procedures are followed. They are likely to know each other better and understand the nitty-gritty of their jobs better than outsiders. Hence they can “self-regulate”. Perhaps the waitresses can even suggest better ideas, for example, a better spot for placing the used cutleries? Since you had a dispute over the arrangement of the cooking area previously, perhaps the waitresses are of the same opinion as you? Having two groups supporting the change in arrangement will likely make whoever opposes to reconsider it or at least make a compromise. This may make everyone happier.
I believe that the situation Rauf described is not something that is particular only to the Malay wedding kitchen but endemic in all organisations where different groups performing different functions come together and work.
ReplyDeleteIn such situations, people fail to recognize their purpose as a part of the organization. Instead, they limit themselves to the jobs they are supposed to perform at their own positions. This breeds a sort of in-group mentality that makes people wary of, and even downright abusive of other groups within the organisation. This of course fosters bad feelings between the groups and feeds into a vicious cycle that is detrimental to the organization as a whole. This is exactly what Rauf has described in the wedding kitchen situation.
I suppose in this situation, the people managing the kitchen staff plays the most important role. Each group has to be made aware of the difficulties and pressures that evey other group faces and must be impressed upon that they are not here to merely ensure that they do the job well, but that the kitchen on the whole does its job well. To that end, everyone must play their part. They should not merely just avoid laying unneccessary stress on their colleagues but also be ready to take up the slack if any group falters.
-Wanliang
I would like to thank all of you who provide me with valuable suggestions. In particular, I have to bear in mind that that the wedding occasions are supposed to be a joyous event. Even if I was mad at the other personnels, I should contain my anger so that I would not taint the newly wed's special day.
ReplyDelete