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This letter, dated in 2002, was issued by Inland Revenue of Singapore, IRAS. They are responsible for the handling of citizen's income tax. The main purpose of this letter was to notify the reader on how to use the e-filing system. However, there is also an underlying intent of persuading the reader to switch from paper-filing to e-filing for their income tax return.
Although this letter displays all the relevant information, like letterhead, in the proper section, I find the paragraph organization relatively poor. The sender should dissect the content of the opening paragraph so that it only contains compliments of the recipient to make him feel appreciated. Furthermore, this letter lacks the appropriate closing paragraph. The statement, "Your effort in e-filing is much valued and we hope for continued support from you" could have been included. Since there is an element of persuasion, the sender should personalize the letter by including the name of the recipient in the salutation. Also, there is an unnecessary statement in the first paragraph which can be omitted as indicated by the red line.
Amidst the faults that I observed, I admit this letter clearly explains to the reader of the actions that can be taken by them. The reader can always refer to the URL of the official website or hotline services for assistance. In the last paragraph, I feel that the green underlined statement is impactful. To encourage the reader to switch to e-filing, the sender again reiterates the point that it is easy to use. In addition, the cash prize incentive will also attract the reader to use e-filing.
I fully agree with your analysis. The opening paragraph is trying to provide too much information and the letter does not even have a "Thank you for your time". However, the letter does well in terms of completeness.
ReplyDeleteTo add on, I think it would encourage the readers to read on if the information on winning cash prizes is stated on the subject line.
I agree that the paragraphing can be improved on. The opening paragraph seems to be quite long. Perhaps from the sentence 'E-filling is available 24.....' onwards, it could be a new paragraph. This will avoid overloading of information.
ReplyDeleteImportant information have been written in bold, attracting the reader's attention. Also, the letter is rather clear and the message can be easily understood.
Hi Rauf, I definitely agree with you that this letter lacks courtesy.Though the author has give thanks at the beginning of the letter, I will say that the author should use more positive wording in the end of the letter. However , I must say that this letter is very concise.There isn't trite expressions nor wordy expressions.Overall, the letter is able to express its idea clearly .
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jackson that the letter does well in terms of completeness. All the specific dates to be noted are explicitly stated. Thanks for highlighting that point Jackson.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with pinxuan that it would be more courtesy if appropriate closing sentence is added.However, this letter is clear and concise. The dateline,service hour and website were stated clearly and necessary informations were also included. Readers are able undertood easily.
ReplyDeleteBesides, the winning of cash prizes written in bold could encourage the readers to continue using E-filing.