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National service has taught me a valuable lesson in life, and that is to foster intercultural communication. In the Army, I was a commander and led a section of seven men. Conventionally, a group of four commanders would share a bunk. My bunk consisted of an interesting mix of Chinese, Malay and Indian.
As a Muslim, I had to perform my prayers daily in the room. It was nice of them to set aside a small area for my convenience. We also refrained from consuming foods that are restricted in each other's religious beliefs. Abstinence from pork and beef was a must as there were Muslim and Hindu followers in the bunk. At times, my Chinese counterparts would blatantly nudge my head as a form of friendly gesture during a conversation. Even though their actions incurred my wrath, I did not simply blow my top. Instead, I explained to them that it was a taboo to do so in my culture and they respectfully apprehended my belief.
Prior to NS, I confessed that I would mix with cliques of my own ethnic group since we shared the same culture and, more importantly, language. However, Singapore is a host of myriad cultures and it is essential that we get accustomed to the various cultures. National Service had broadened my horizons by exposing me to the various cultures. As a food for thought, we will interact with colleagues of different ethnic backgrounds in our workplace. Thus, it is essential that we raise our awareness on others’ cultures so as not to offend them unknowingly.
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Kudos to Rauf for not snapping back at his friends when they nudged his head. Usually, a person’s reaction would be to scold, to glare or to physically retaliate when they feel they are being “attacked”. However, this might anger the offender and trigger a confrontation, without the offender realizing why he is wrong. Therefore, when Rauf explained why nudging of the head irritated him, he made his friends realize that the action is a taboo so they would not repeat the offence. This is a win-win situation for both parties and sustains the good relationship between them.
ReplyDeleteI feel it is normal for people to tend to gather in groups that share the same ideals, culture and language. I think this creates a sense of belonging and even safety for each individual. However, I agree with Rauf that we have to be aware of the cultures of other people to avoid offending them out of our ignorance. If we do unknowingly offend other people, we should be ready to apologize and to learn from our mistakes so as not to repeat them.
I agree with Jackson that Rauf was right in explaining the situation to the Chinese instead of scolding them. This likely helped in preventing further misunderstandings because if Rauf had scolded the Chinese, they would probably be angry and more problems may arise.
ReplyDeleteInstead of just raising our awareness on other's cultures, I feel it is also important that we have an open-mind. Some people's actions may offend us, but it probably is not intentional. So we should be open, forgive and explain the problem rather then bearing a grudge against them.
I think that there is another element of culture that colours Rauf's response to his bunkmates nudging his head.
ReplyDeleteMost of my Malay friends are very easy-going, and quite laid-back. This is an attribute which they freely admit seems to be characteristic of Malay culture. And I think that that helped Rauf to calmly explain his cultural taboo to his bunkmates instead of snapping their heads off. I think that if the reverse were to happen, and a Chinese or Indian taboo was broken, the person violating the taboo can, at the very least, expect a scathing remark. As a case in point, my cousin was playing blackjack when a eurasian friend of hers tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and snapped at him, "Oi! You want to make me lose money is it?" (I know this is grammatically incorrect but I'm just quoting her verbatim =p )
I think that such an off-the-cuff response, while not being reasonable, is expectable whenever a cultural taboo is violated. If a culture did not feel very strongly against it, then it would not be a taboo would it? And if you feel strongly against something, your natural reaction to it happening would be rather immediate and negative. Thus you are entitled to feeling angry when a taboo is broken. However, I think Joyce and Jackson hit the nail on the head. What they mentioned should form the basis of any inter-cultural communications. We should come in with an open and forgiving attitude. Be prepared to be upset, be prepared to have someone be upset with you, but also be prepared to forgive and to learn.
-Wanliang
National service must be a real test and unique experience for all as people of different races, religions and social classes are mixed up together. This is good for society and must really contribute to strengthening Singapore's cohesian. How heartening it is that people can live side by side in peace by showing mutual respect for one another!
ReplyDeleteMrs Richardson